There are few realities as diametrically opposed as Lust and Love.

Lust seeks self gratification, caring little for anything or anyone else.

Love gives joyfully and without expectation of return.

There is something strangely soothing about these realities. It puts into perspective how shallow the behaviors of lust were in my, and other’s, unfaithful partners. It casts a new light on the self absorbed, devoid of meaning place my unfaithful was as he pursued his drug of choice–lust. The negative impact of the suffocation of love is truly pitiful. Lust rots the very core of human growth and meaning, replacing it with toxic self centeredness. Lust requires the luster look for fault in his legitimate partner in order to enable emotional distance and fuel the justifications necessary to betray.

Lust consumes the mind of the luster, building in focus and desire until quenched. It cares not for anything other than the use of the other’s body as a selfish tool towards physical self gratification. The soul of the lust object is seldom considered, of interest or concern. What an empty pursuit, squelching all growth.

Love revels in the other with a passionate and considerate affection and care that expresses itself in the desire to give to and protect the beloved. Love longs to be with the beloved for the depth and beauty of the other’s soul – a never ending mystery to explore. Love honors, cherishes and protects the beloved with a deep concern mirrored equally only in care for self. Love thy beloved as thyself.

Lust delights in short lived conceited passion that burns hot and consumes the attention of the luster to the exclusion of all positive loving pursuits. Lust kills love. It smothers any spark or ember of thoughtful caring for the individual, leaving the luster focused on one thing—self gratification.

Love grows in the many paths of exploration into the complexities of the beloved. Love thirsts, not for momentary physical release, rather for deep connection.

Lust is centered in the physical, the corporeal.

Love adores the body and the soul.

It is only when I truly felt these deep truths that I could gain a new perspective.

I feel sorrow for the time and wasted energy my unfaithful spent in such a shallow destructive pursuit. Thing is, lust not only destroys love, it destroys the genuine self esteem and growth of the luster.

How sad is that.

I grieve not only for all the years lost that we might have had a genuine love, I grieve for a life wasted in such self consumption. I truly did not know the person I married. He hid himself from me and from himself. He betrayed his own life and growth before and during all the days, weeks, months and years of his acting out betrayals. His self destruction is greater than all the devastation wrought upon me. What a pitiable waste.

And still he fears to feel the weight of this reality. I can’t say I blame him. Who would want to face so much wasted life? And yet it is necessary for him to grieve the loss of his true self—to the black hole of lust. He must recognize and feel the truth of all the losses in order to grieve them and move on. I pray he will be able to accomplish this personally terrifying work so he might salvage the balance of his life to turn away from the meaningless, destructive shallowness of lust—and toward the light of love. The salvation of love. The blessings and growth and joy of genuine caring for others.

I pray.