There was a time so long ago when you travelled over land and sea

Travelled to enjoy my company

There was a time your face lit up when I entered a room

There was a time you promised me your everything

Even though we had nothing of earthly value

We belonged to each other

We relied on each other no matter what

And then you changed. Ever so slowly

You kept the mask of good, fun guy on

You were everyone’s favorite

But you abandoned me. You abandoned ‘us’

My husband became my wasband

He used to be the one who would share his dreams and disasters

He was the one who reached to hold my hand

He was the sunshine in my day

He was the one I would and did do anything for, to ease his way

He was the only man I saw

The only man I wanted

He was my everything. My true north. My heart.

He was the man who vowed to be my one and only.

He was my one and only.

But now that time has slipped into the past.

His face no longer lights when I enter the room.

He avoids the person he swore to love and protect

Because I remind him of his choices

Choices to abandon our love, our vows, us

In favor of false love

In favor of Betrayal.

He was once my husband.

now my wasband.

He was my light, my devotion, my love.

I thought I was his too.

That was a lie.

‘Husband’ was a lie

Replaced by a doppelgänger pretender

who looked like my husband

But was not.

In reality he was my betrayer, my manipulator, the abuser of my love.

Hungry for all I provided him.

The entitled one who lived two lives, both false.

The broken one who broke my heart.

My wasband.

Still my wasband all these years later

Because he does not change. He does not choose to see me, value me, love me.

The husband left when he choose another woman over ‘us’.

In walked the wasband who complained things were not as they should be.

The wasband who profited from all the benefits of marriage, but did not invest in it.

The wasband who used my love to escape into a fantasy world of his creation rather than be present in the real world with his once upon a time treasured wife.

Now she, an object of gratification for all the good she provided

But resented for not being more, and more, and more. Not enough.

Does anyone want a wasband?

Who would choose to marry one?

I didn’t think so.

Not the marrying kind.

Not the man who fixes what he broke.

Not a man who one could respect.

Not a man to be trusted.

Not reliable.

Not a man of integrity. No, not husband material.

Because he chooses to remain a wasband

Ever wanting to be a husband without living like one.

Wishing it would all go away so he could pretend to be a husband again.

And benefit from all the gifts of marriage

Without having to invest in those gifts.

A wasband.