dictionary definition: -full development; perfected condition (is there really a perfect condition?)

I rather prefer: …”the ability to handle unresolvable problems indefinitely.”

Isn’t this the essence of being in relationship with another fallible imperfect human being? The joy of relationship is in the ongoing, lifetime discovery of the other. Within the framework of that discovery is the reality that the other will have differing sensibilities and foilbles than self. It is those very differences that are bound to cause joy as well as irritation. There is no perfect other to be with in close relationship. We will have conflict and disagreements.

Unresolvable problems.

And there is no earthly reason to resolve these differences. Viva la difference, as they say. Even if these differences are profoundly annoying, they are part and parcel of the fabric of us and the other. It is what makes me, me and you, you.

If you believe we are in this world to learn and grow, what better opportunity than to be in close relationship with another? As a betrayal recovery site has said ‘marriage is God’s greatest people growing machine”.

Although not all of us will have the drastic and painful challenge of our spouse’s infidelity, it is by its very nature, opportunity to learn to love. If one can come to love another who has broken your heart, maturity and love is surely at hand.

The question is ‘how do we come to live in close relationship with someone so different than us?’ Someone who has proven to be profoundly broken in a way, perhaps different than us, but not un-different than our own brokenness. We all make poor choices at times. We all have a self centered bent. Given similar experiences, perhaps we too would have fallen.

Perhaps not.

Perhaps we would choose some other destructive behavior. It might be detrimental to self. Of perhaps it would be inaction that keeps us from reaching our full potential as a human being. Whatever the case, we, all of us, have the potential to fall from grace. The grace that is mankind at its best. We are all imperfect—perfectly imperfect.

Has the betrayed done something as egregious as intimate betrayal? Mostly likely not–at least not in that form. -He who is without sin cast the first stone.

This is the stuff of forgiveness and healing. This, the power of grace. This perhaps the biggest challenge of our lives.

Maturity- the ability to handle unresolvable problems indefinitely. The power of choice to love.