Sincerely – I don’t get it. All these months and my UH does not express regret, remorse, sadness, apology or grief. I don’t get it.

The only time he has ‘gone there’ is within the strict confines of a homework assignment from a recovery class. In those instances it has been very by the book without deep expression of authentic feeling. It is as though it takes this ‘hold a gun to his head’ situation to express any of the above. Is it yet another manifestation of image management? After all, he would look bad if he didn’t come up with his homework and everyone else did.

What has been your experience with this?

It feels a whole lot like pride, entitlement, lack of sorrow. I know feelings are not necessarily truth. I really wish I knew the truth.

When confronted with the specific question he says that he is remorseful every day.

“To whom? Not to me.”

He sits there like a stone.

“Why do you think that is?”

“I dunno.”

Arrgh…..