What makes the difference between those who recover from trauma to thrive and those who remain mired in victimhood?

In every life challenge there is a lesson to be learned. Belief, optimism, perseverance–those are the skills and choices of the thriver. If you surround yourself with supporters/helpers, your success will be much more attainable. If you allow yourself the time to think things through and choose optimism, your stress levels will drop.

Those who recover are those who can let go of any hope of having a better past. The one thing you have control over when in the battlefield of a challenge, the war of recovery, is creating space. Use your neocortex. Your higher brain is wise. It has the capability, as part of a sentient being ahead of the other animals on this planet, to observe itself/ourself and choose a path.

Trouble is, that higher brain is slower than the lizard brain. The flight, fight or freeze fast reaction lower brain will rule your life if you don’t take a deep breath and let that Neo cortex–that higher brain kick in. I think it is poetic that the neo or new part of the brain actually wraps around the more ancient. It’s almost as if in our development, our more advanced higher functioning brain is hugging that old knee jerk area like a wise mother holds her petulant child back from darting into the street.

When you take the time to remember to what or whom you are committed, the driver behind your life, the passion—and take those few moments pause–you will be able to focus on that which is bigger than yourself…. compassion, empathy and love. All that stuff is not in the realm of the lizard.

It is not about adding things to your life, buying more, taking on more responsibilities. It’s about subtracting. Simplifying. Streamlining, in order to allow for those spaces to exist in your schedule, in your day, to take that deep breath and engage your higher brain. The planning brain, the consideration, empathizing, compassionate and thoughtful brain, to lead to better decisions that can serve both you and others.

There’s a good reason for the old cliche “Look before you leap”. The frog leaps, the lizard (brain) leaps. The human animal in all its thousands of years of development has the capability to achieve that which no other species on earth can–choice. And it t’ain’t through leaping.

Slow down and choose well.